Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Part 132

Lucy wasn't kidding that the next day was to get worse.  The complaining wasn't as loud but somehow it was more noticeable because of this.  And rough doesn't do justice to the condition of the roads we were on.  The only happy thought I had was when they off-loaded Limmer, and his patrol, right smack dab in the middle of a crap ton of pot holes.  You should have heard his ... er ... colorful description of the landscape.  I pulled my cap down to try and hide my laughter.

Before I forget I need to add one more thing to the hot dog cart descriptions.  I had an old granny seat on mine that had more duct tape than vinyl on it.  The other three had these fancy new seats ... only even as a person my age and size could have told them, those little things were going to get buried in their backside if they had to ride on them very far.  Like a lot of stuff lately, it reminded me of a memory from before.

Toddie gave up the idea of begging our parents for a racing bike after one of his friends got one and they discovered that most of those bicycles must have only had seats for show because there is no way a sane person could use one of those things for long ... especially guys and I absolutely refuse to explain why because when I was finally old enough to figure it out I couda died of embarrassment and I'm not too far off from that right now just thinking about it in passing.  Anyway ... I'm glad I didn't do anything to try and get revenge on the other three cooks because I have a feeling God is going to use those little seats and do it for me.

Second guy that off-loaded did it while the truck was in motion.  That is actually what we were supposed to do but only if the roads were in good condition which was why Limmer got off as a stop.  The number two show-off got his just desserts for his arrogance when he flipped the cart and all of the patrol supplies when spilling all over the place.  The hot dog cart lost a lot of its shiney-new right off the truck and the convoy didn't stop ... it took over a minute to get far enough away so that I stopped hearing that patrols cussing and fussing.

Third guy was really weighted down but almost disembarked without a problem ... except he was a little too careful and went a little too slow.  The transport operator started raising the rear gate before the guy was completely off of it and a couple of boxes from his wagon fell back into the truck.  I saw him trying to run back and pick up things that had fallen off and I whistled - thank you Mr. Svenson for teaching me how - and football threw one of the boxes to him and he caught it but looked at me like I had lost my mind.  I started to toss out the other one when both Sgt. Shelly and Josie stopped me.

"Hey!" I yelped, complaining at the handling.

"Hey nothing," Sgt. Shelly barked.  "You think they would have done the same for us?"

I shrugged and replied, "Does it matter?  I was just trying to do what was right."

Gayle shook her head while Sgt. Shelly rolled her eyes.  Even Lucy looked at me like I was a couple of fries short of a happy meal.  Josie said, "You know, that's sweet Pip."  Only her tone said the opposite.  Then she tapped me harder than was strictly necessary on the back of my head.  "Now listen up.  Sometimes the angels do a little a$$ kicking on our behalf and we get a bonus like this.  You don't look a gift horse - or angel - in the mouth.  Now get this box stowed quickly before it is our turn to disembark.  The convoy is take a sharp turn to the east and we are going to continue head northwest and they ain't gonna cut you no slack just 'cause you're a newbie."

I almost saluted and said "yes ma'am" but figured that would be more smart aleck comeback than my fellow patrol members could handle so I just let it go.  Besides, she was right and I did need to get set to go because it was coming up fast.

Oh ... my ... gosh.  Worse than riding the Himalayan at the fair.  I puked on Toddie's shoes the time he forced me to ride it because Dad said if he didn't take me he couldn't go.  I think they thought he would stick to rides like the Scrambler or the funhouses.  Nope.  And worse he fed me a birthday cake flavored shake right before just to see me turn green.  He underestimated the effect and his new Converse trainers had to go to the dry cleaners.  It was a year before I could look at a birthday cake again.  Getting off the truck at that particular location was just about like that had been.

I was on the bike part and ready to go as the the tailgate began to drop and that's when I realized we had been going uphill.  Oh geez man.  A 10% grade might not be a big deal to a truck but on a hot dog cart?  Youch.  Add the little wagon I was pulling and holy mackerel.  Talk about a wild ride to get that contraption under control and not go into the deep gully that ran beside the road.  But I did it.

"Well that's a surprise," Gayle said sardonically.  "I shouldn't have bothered unpacking my med kit.  I figured you'd need stitches at the very least."

"Ha.  Ha.  Very funny."

But it was't funny at all because Gayle had been serious.  And no one gave me a high five either for a successful disembarkation which told me more than anything else could that play time was over.  I am now officially a grown up and they don't give out brownie points for things like that when you're a grown up.  You're just expected to do your job with no complaints and get it right the first time around.


  1. Thanks for posting this for us I pray that all goes well with your father and there move to your place.

  2. Thanks for posting this for us I pray that all goes well with your father and there move to your place.