Monday, November 3, 2014

Part 92

I woke to someone rubbing my back.  "It's ok.  C'mon DeeDee, don't.  It's gonna be ok.  Really."

I jumped.  "Wha ...?"


"What are you doing?" I asked, shocked to find myself practically buried in Cochran's chest.

"You were having a bad dream.  It was a bad one too from the sound of it."

I shook my head.  "I don't remember."  He stopped rubbing my back and stiffened like he didn't believe me.  I told him, "I'm serious, I don't remember.  I used to remember my dreams all the time but lately ..."  I shrugged.  "Lately I don't.  Maybe because they're old reruns that I've watched too often or something."

He relaxed and snorted.  "I've got a few reruns too.  You sure you're ok?"  I could hear in his voice that he understood so well there wasn't any need to discuss it.

"Yeah," I answered and then wiggled, not sure where I was trying to go.

"Feeling closed in?"

"Kinda.  Mostly ... I'm just not used to being ... being touched so much."

"It bother you?"

"Sorta."  He backed off.  "Look, it isn't ... I mean ..."  Then in a rush I told him, "It isn't you.  It's the whole guy thing.  I ... I guess I'm just ... broken ... like a toy or something."

Quietly he said, "You aren't a toy DeeDee.  I didn't mean to make you think I thought of you that way."

"You didn't ... don't ... well you did before but that's was a long time ago and not what I'm sensing now.  I just mean ... geez ... I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok.  Just so long as you know I wasn't really trying to make a move on you.  Just because its been a while doesn't mean that I don't have some self-respect.  I'm not gonna jump your bones just because."

"I know.  Even when I forget I know ... I just may not act like it.  Can we change the subject?"


"Like how are your hands?"

He accepted the change in subject pretty well ... better than Lee would have.  "Better.  I was able to put my gloves back on."  After a moment he said, "I hate to do this but I need to check outside.  I've lost track of time and I need to check the weather."

It was awful to lose all the heat we had built up but necessary.  It was still snowing pretty good but not storming.  And it was daylight.  "We need to move," he said bringing his head back into the shelter.  "Think you can make it to your cabin if I break the path for you?"

"I'll do whatever I need to.  How deep is the snow?"

"Maybe another foot of snow on the ground and more building up.  It's mostly how it has drifted that is going to be the problem.  Some of those things are over my head so for you ..."

"Yeah, I get it."

We both looked a little for any remains of the two men but it was useless.  We couldn't even find remains of the dogs though we knew they had to be there so we headed out.  I've never had such a hard time traveling to the cabin.  It took two hours to get what would have normally taken thirty minutes and by the time we got there Cochran was soaked to his hips.  I was wet up to my chest where snow had snuck inside my jacket and melted.  And we were both exhausted and losing our core body heat.

"No way is the Major going to be out traveling in this."

I asked, "Want to try and call him anyway?"

"No because it won't do any good.  They'll have the equipment secured because of the storm."

He looked around and then looked down and around.  "I covered your tunnel opening with a tarp but I'm not sure where it is at now."

"I ..." then I yelled.

"See you found it."

"Yeah Einstein," I muttered as I tried to crawl back up the slippy slide.

"Just move back if you can and I'll slide down."

"You ... you sure you'll ... Hmmm ..."

I didn't want to bring up bad things but I was worried about his claustrophobia.  He understood and said, "If I could lay in that casket shaped shelter for as long as we did, your cabin will be ok ... at least for a while ... so long as I know I can get out."

He slid down and after that we both basically sleep walked through the next hour as we took some privacy to change into dry clothes, started a fire in the fireplace instead of the stove because it's stove pipe was clogged with ice, and ate some broth I heated.

"We gotta sleep," Cochran mumbled.

"Yeah," I mumbled back.  "Help me move this stuff over here.  You'll have to watch your head and feet 'cause they are going to stick out ... and watch your head if you sit up."

The "fort" was rebuilt and we both climbed in without a word and then arranged ourselves and went to sleep.

I didn't think a thing about it - we just did it.  That is until I woke up and realized we were wrapped around each other the way we had been in his makeshift shelter despite there being a lot more room.  That's when I started weirding out.  I tried to move but all the sleeping Cochran seemed to let me do is turn so that I faced the fire.  He had a hold of me like I was a teddy bear or something.  It was just too embarrassing.  Not because of what he was doing but because it didn't bother me that he was doing it.

Eventually Cochran fell asleep so hard I could wiggle away and sit up which is what I've been doing for a while now.  I don't need much sleep, I never have, and this situation has been no exception.  But I usually don't spend my time thinking about the things I've been thinking about.  Like there's this guy that saved my life and I stink so bad that there is no way he can't smell me.  Like reliving the feel of being so close and having his hands in places ... like when he was searching for the water bottle the first time.

And Cochran has moved over until he is right up against me again ... and it still doesn't bother me.  And the fact that it doesn't bother me is really bothering me and I don't know what to say when he wakes up.  Which seems to be right about now.


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